"I just don't know what to say about this boy...he's not motivated!" I wish parents stop saying that. At some point, we have to look at ourselves and determine if our actions are creating the lack of motivation for learning in our children. Listen to this...*Bill is a ten year old black male in the third grade and reads on a second grade level, with a 25% accuracy in reading comprehension. He never comes to school with any materials. No pencil. No paper. No books. No nothing. Bill's mother claims he has materials when she drops him off in the mornings and something mysteriously must be happening from the time he leaves her car to the time he gets to his classroom. Not to mention he wears glasses that she hasn't seen in over 6 months because she thought they were at school. Surely, he needs to see at home, too. I don't get it. Children are not to blame and should not be held accountable for their parent's inability to parent. He or she cannot properly train or teach themselves to be diligent in their studies without some form of guidance. Children need to be taught how to organize themselves and keep up with important things.
In the parent's defense and being the devil's advocate, parenting doesn't come with a manual. There is no prerequisite course before becoming a parent. It would be nice to believe the art of parenting comes naturally, and it is the innate ability to care for that which genetically belongs to you. At least, it sounds good. Did I mention that Bill's mother is on a court ordered parenting plan? This is her second chance at parenting. Bill and his siblings were once in foster care. When she was granted custody of them this second time, Bill was molested by someone she trusted to mentor him. Now, she still doesn't seem to understand that she needs to slow down and get things in perspective. Instead, she parties like a rock star every night, then oversleeping and forcing her five children to dress and feed themselves for school. It's obvious that Bill's mother needs some coaching. She blames all of Bill's academic issues on his lack of motivation. Does it occur to her that Bill's motivation could be driven from the lack of her involvement? Maybe Bill doesn't see the importance since she never asks about his homework assignments? Bill could feel like he's losing his mom's attention to the different men that are in and out of their lives. Hmmm.....
Mothers, please be your child's best advocate and role model. Don't be selfish. Lay your desires aside and take your responsibility of parenting seriously. Parenting is not an easy assignment, but children didn't ask to come into this world. Be accountable! As parents it is our duty to develop positive self-images and discipline in our children, especially, our boys.
Support groups and consulting groups, such as MOBB, Inc. are designed to share strategies that are proven to give black males the foundation they need to be successful and productive.
*This scenario is just one of many true stories of teachers. However, to protect the identity of the child, the name is fictitious.
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